Flawless victory

Posted by admin on August 25th, 2010

Billy: What’s the matter with you? You can’t change your mind just like that. We had a deal.

Obama: I’m afraid the deal’s off. I’m still the most powerful man in the world, I have my standards…

Billy: What standards? Where were your “standards” last month, or the month before?

Obama: Billy, you’re a smart young man. Don’t make me change my perception of you, please. I’ve already changed my mind – the deal’s off!

Billy: Ok, mister president. I see you play hard to get, but I still have the last call. How about increasing my offer to 100? Interested now?

Obama: Do you take me for a fool?

Billy: Absolutely not! I know it’s not about the money, I respect that and I respect you as well, but a little bit of attention wouldn’t hurt even a man of your stature, would it?

Obama: Always up to your old tricks, Billy… Aren’t you?

Billy: You’ve done this a thousand times – maybe more. Do this for me today and I’ll be eternally grateful. It’s a two-way street, keep this in mind. You’ll probably benefit more than me… So what do you say, your highness? 100 bucks are at stake! Think about the money, but choose with your heart!

Obama: Ok, you cheapskate. Let’s get this over with, today. I’ve got the most powerful economy in the world to run, you know… Meet me in the same alley, in exactly 3 hours. And by the way, make sure you take a shower this time… your body odor makes me lose focus.

Billy: God bless America!

The end.

This is a satirical article. Please share it with your friends and family. Thank you in advance.

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Do you write satire or humorous articles?

Posted by admin on August 21st, 2010

Posted by Simon Dew.

We’re looking for talented writers that can write satirical or humorous articles for our websites. We’ll pay 40 – 50$ per article, and one can write up to 4 articles per week. Payments will be sent only via PayPal.

If you would like to apply for this job, just leave us a message using the form below and we’ll send you more information. Please notice that you must write us a couple of sample articles first.

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Father-Daughter Talk

Posted by admin on August 18th, 2010

After her swift decision to enter the exciting world of pornography, Montana Fishburne called her famous daddy Laurence Fishburne, either for his blessing or a little mindless banter. As expected, the Matrix star was furious: “I’m not going to speak with you ’till you turn your life around“. To make his point clearly, he added: “You embarrassed me”.

Of course, when you learn that your beloved 19-year-old daughter has already made a porn movie, your whole world starts to crumble. Most people wouldn’t find the appropriate words to make a conversation in this particular case but Morpheus is not “most people“. Proving himself as a refined porn connoisseur, before hanging up the phone, he told her: “You used your last name. No one uses their real name in porn”. Touché!

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A New Empire

Posted by admin on August 18th, 2010

Heiress, socialite, media personality and ex-convict extraordinaire Paris Hilton tells the world about her new ambitious plan:

I’ve pretty much done all you can do, but my next project that I’d like to do is get more involved in real estate – just from being in the business and growing up in it my whole life, it’s always something I’ve been interested in. And right now that I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do, that would definitely be the next step, to open my own hotels.

When you’re the heiress to the famous Hilton Hotels, the most logical thing you can do is, of course, to open your own hotel chain. Only an idiot would do otherwise, but Paris Hilton is definitely not an idiot!

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Happy Birthday, Madonna!

Posted by admin on August 16th, 2010

Madonna turned 52 today but, to be honest, she looks at least like a 60-year-old. Of course, without the heavy make-up.

Madge’s beauty has been the subject of endless arguments and (possibly) fights, but I never figured out why. This real-life Lord Voldemort feeds on the beauty she once had, a beauty which faded away a decade ago when she unwillingly reached the point of no return – age 40! In modern pathology they call it the “desperate housewife syndrome”.

Every magazine out there has mentioned at least one time per year – usually on her birthday – how great she looks for her age. Apparently, the editors who portrayed the queen of pop as a beauty queen need to make an urgent appointment to their ophthalmologists. There is nothing appealing about this old hag, no matter how sick, obsessed or perverted one can be. Who ever has sexual fantasies with Madonna is probably suffering from some sort of dangerous mental disorder, yet to be discovered by the scientific community.

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The Backlink Builders – Just Another AdWords Scam!

Posted by admin on August 14th, 2010

Post by Ben Magath.

It’s official!

The Backlink Builders (thebacklinkbuilders.com) is just another AdWords scam, a real dirty one as a matter of fact. If you already bought links from them don’t expect to actually get what you’ve paid for. Also, don’t expect to get your money back either. It’s just a SCAM!

The Back Link Builders heavily rely on AdWords advertising to promote their website, www.thebacklinkbuilders.com, over the internet and scam you for your money. This makes Google an accomplice!

To my knowledge, dozens of complaints have been made to both Google AdWords and PayPal. This was 2 months ago! Their website is still online and I suspect that it will be online for quite some time.

So, if you care about your hard earned money, don’t buy links from The Backlink Builders – unless you want to have a nasty surprise!

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Grown Ups Review

Posted by admin on August 14th, 2010

Grown Ups is a movie labeled as a comedy, but without the actual comedy. In fact, this is a movie without conflict, without story, without characters, without any substance, whatsoever. It’s the kind of movie that gives you the certainty that you have just wasted 102 minutes of your precious life and there is nothing you can do about it.

Adam Sandler’s pathetic screenwriting effort could be easily outmatched by any 5-year-old, and this is no exaggeration because the script is a humiliating failure, something that only an idiot could possibly conceive. Who would want to watch a movie about 5 guys doing close to nothing, picking on each other with stupid jokes in almost every scene? The whole movie doesn’t make any sense at all.

Apart from this, in Grown Ups the characters are intolerably dull. With the absence of story, one could assume that this movie would rely on strong characters that would be responsible for some sort of comedy. Unfortunately, it’s not the case here. Adam Sandler and his useless production company, Happy Madison, managed to make a movie “out of the wedlock”. Professionalism and decent moviemaking guidelines have been forsaken for the sole purpose of making a quick buck, ignoring the audiences.

Call it what you please: garbage, fiasco, nonsense, useless crap; nevertheless, be reassured – Adam Sandler will not end his reign of terror with Grown Ups. His movies will continue to hit the cinemas like bullets hitting innocent bodies at an execution range. And after he is gone, history will embrace him as just another mediocre actor, nothing more, nothing less – just as we, the movie lovers, embrace him now.

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Lindsay Lohan Jail House Blues

Posted by admin on July 31st, 2010

The first day of jail is similar with the first day of school, actually: you get to make new friends, you get to relax in a controlled environment away from your overprotecting family, and – for the best part – you get to spend a little more quality time with yourself and reflect on what’s really important to you.

Hopefully, after 2 weeks in the slammer, Lindsay Lohan will triumphantly return to show business as a changed person.

Update:

Or maybe not.

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How to get stuff for free and get away with it

Posted by admin on July 31st, 2010

Article by MARK

About 2 years ago, when I first posted an article entitled “How to get everything for free on the internet” on one of my blogs, my traffic blew up. In the first day I had 2000 unique visitors and the number grew up in the following weeks. This is a short version of that article.

How to get stuff for free and, most importantly, how to get away with it.

Let’s say you desperately want a product or service that’s available online and you don’t have the money to buy it, or if you’re more like me – you don’t necessarily want to pay for it. Fortunately, there are many ways to obtain a product or service for free and today I’m going to show you a few tricks that I personally use.

Coupons

At first, I didn’t want to write about coupons because this article is about how to get stuff for free. With coupons you can get stuff almost for free, but only if you know how to use them. Nevertheless, I’ve decided to write some tips anyway.

First of all, I’m not talking about coupons that will get you 15% off a product or service, I’m talking about coupons that will get you 85 or even 90% off!

There are coupons for everything out there and you’ll just have to find the ones that will get you the biggest discounts. Many online companies, when they’re just about to replace an old product or service, will offer massive discounts to customers. The best example would be software-related products which are continuously improved over time. You can get an older version at a bargain price because companies will focus more on selling the latest version.

All you have to do is to pay attention to the product that you’re interested in and wait until they’re about to release a newer version of that product. Many companies will offer you discounts up to 90%! Just subscribe to their newsletter or become a member at their website and you will be up to date with all of their moves.

Don’t believe me? Here’s an example of what I’ve bought last year using this strategy:

  • premium wordpress themes – 80% discount
  • SEO plugin for wordpress – 85% discount
  • online marketing course – 85% discount
  • wordpress membership plugin – 90% discount
  • video making software – 80% discount
  • email software – 75% discount
  • online computer game – 80% discount
  • individual music tracks – up to 90% discount

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Batman, batman

Posted by admin on July 29th, 2010

Prepare to laugh your brains out!

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Kanye West joins the madness

Posted by admin on July 29th, 2010

Apparently, no mortal can resist Twitter, not even “music genius” Kanye West. From now on, the whole world will be connected with his dull tweets!

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iPhone 4

Posted by admin on July 26th, 2010

Undoubtedly, Steve Jobs can convince a group of nuns to buy heroin, if he puts his mind to it, and therefore selling the iPhone 4 to millions of suckers will be child’s play for Apple’s mack daddy. The new and improved wonder of technology will achieve world domination sooner than you might think as 17 more countries will get it on Friday. By Christmas, even the tribesmen of Central Africa will get their hands on Apple’s latest toy. Not for the gadgets, however. It will serve them more as a primitive weapon in case they are attacked by predators.

As for me, I will probably buy a Nokia.

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Let’s pray

Posted by admin on July 25th, 2010

diablo 3 release date

Our Father in Sanctuary,
Hallowed be your name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
On earth as in Sanctuary.

Give us today Diablo III,
Forgive us our sins,
As we forgive those who battle against us.
Save us from the time of trial,
And deliver us from dark forces.

For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours,
Now and forever.

Amen.

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NBA without Shaquille O’Neal

Posted by admin on July 25th, 2010

Shaquille O’Neal is about to retire from the NBA because – and it’s actually kind of  a funny story – nobody wants him.

At 38, grandpa Shaq has nothing left to offer. His career as a professional basketball player ended years ago, his presence on the basketball court was merely for marketing purposes. Now, even that faded away.

The NBA without Shaquille O’Neal will be exactly the same, maybe more spectacular. Losing a goofball is not such a bad thing, after all. Hollywood will embrace him as the savior of the comedy genre!

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Yep, Darth Vader has robbed a bank!

Posted by admin on July 24th, 2010

Yep, Darth Vader has robbed a bank in Long Island. Apparently, the financial crisis has struck even the Galactic Empire.

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